Fuck serious...

I am in a weird mood tonight... and some of this blog is making me laugh my ass off.  The last week has been a study for me in the lunacy of this game we play here, and I am finding it very, very hard to take all of this seriously anymore.  I must tell you that I am in awe of this game we play with each other... it is an awesome thing to hide who one truly is... almost impossible... yet... strangely, we have somehow managed it.

Maybe it was the thought of starting some meditation classes here... because I wish someone would have told me this when I was taking everything so seriously... or maybe it was the way the week went... kind of like clockwork that had all been figured out before hand... I don't know.

Maybe it is the strange way that I am starting to see everyone and everything as an extension of me... of my own thoughts... my own wishes as to what they should be, rather than what they actually are.  I had lunch with a friend, and to sit there, talking and laughing with her, hearing my own drab voice crooning along about things that had happened and what was occurring in my life, all the while looking at her as though I had never seen her before, and realizing that this really might be the case, I felt like laughing... laughing at the whole goddamn thing.  A huge cosmic joke... just to disguise the fact that everything is connected... everything is fine... there is absolutely no danger anywhere, anyhow, with anything or anyone.  How could there be?  We are all one.

So fuck serious... what kind of bullshit has been fed to us all of our lives?  Culture... deep culture... religion... chains for the mind... polite society... it is all so much dross... so much bullshit covering the mind.  I am not saying it is all bad... it's just really nothing... nothing at all.  Sure as hell isn't joyful.  I can tell you that.  I wish someone would have told me that life is Disneyland before I started out making it into The Great Depression.  Not even that part pisses me off... it just makes me kind of mystified.

So I decided tonight to tell Serious Man to fuck off and stop bothering me.  There is something like seriousplay or playfulseriousness... or something like that.  I started tapping into this about a year and a half ago... and it isn't a "Secret"... or a big deal or anything.  It is more like smooth functioning, living the dream as it was, I guess, created to be lived - as a game, as a wild ride in the park.  I have seriously wondered (laughing as I write this) about the wisdom of waking up.  Why would I wake up from a dream that was meant to be dreamed... not taken seriously... just dreamed?  Doesn't one have to have a little "skin" in the game... haha... more like a whole body in the game... to make it interesting?

It is like sex.  When you tap into really good sex/attraction games, there is a sense of playful-seriousness or serious-playfulness about it... that whole attraction... the spark... flirting... the first serious kiss... it's kind of like that.  There is a sense that you have to play the game well... but there is really nothing at stake.  If you make it fun, BAM... you get laid, and you get to have fun (if you prefer for the rest of your life) with that someone.  If you don't make it fun, BAM... you get hand lotion.  It's kind of like that. 

I can't tell you how many miracles happened this last week... they are as effortless as a summer breeze when the mind is in the right place.  They just happen.  And they are always wonderful, mystical, magical... and always what bring joy.  It sure as hell beats seriousness and grimness... grabbing life by the balls or something.  It is more like a game of strip-poker with a leggy blonde with a gun... just enough tease to keep you on your toes, and you hope that life ends up naked before it makes you naked and kills your ass.

As far as waking up goes... well... the more I wake up, the better life gets.  The less seriously I take life, the greater my capacity to enjoy it, ride with it, co-create with it, live it.  I asked a friend of mine, when she asked what life would be without sadness, "God, haven't you had enough sadness to last ten lifetimes?"  I have.  I know that.  Let me tell you a little secret, ok?  God doesn't give a fuck either... He knows we're safe, just as He created us, and He could care less that we are sleeping and thinking that we are having a nightmare.  He knows our reality... and He isn't worried.  I just appreciate that He left some reminders in our dreams to let us know that we are dreaming.