Because you must...

Over the past few years, there has been a literary explosion of new consciousness exploration books.  Everything from self-help, self-improvement, and consciousness exploration books have rapidly gained acceptance and have met with a population longing for meaning of any type.  Let's face it, life without meaning has no life to it.


Let me ask the question of you and me both, why change at all? 

Processing Out of Bullshit

Mornings have a certain tone to them when one awakens.  Have you ever noticed that beginning feeling or mood that comes upon you when you are lying in the bed just after waking.  Many times there is a warmth and comfort that will surround me upon awakening, and that feeling is a sort of harbinger for the day... a ceremonial messenger.  The longer

Why this blog?

For the last three years, I have been in a process that is largely psychological in nature but also involves many surprising steps into other realms.  I hope that my thoughts on the nature of what I have come to view as a profound inner change, both in psychological and emotional states, can simply be viewed by others who may be on a similar trajectory.  Maybe they will find solace in the fact that the journey is real (in spite of what they hear from others and society at large), it is profound (in spite of the constant questioning of one's own sanity), and it is ultimately so personal that only they can take the steps (in spite of the fact that those steps may be hard indeed). 

I read through that first paragraph and see that I am rather circumspect in describing any details of this journey.  Spiritual is the only word that really describes it; however, serious psychologists and psychiatric scientists would probably balk at that word.  While I am sure of the profundity of this journey and its effects, I am not sure exactly how to describe it.  It is more like a psychological and emotional hollowing out, a ridding of oneself of misconception, a circular thought process that digs deeper at each layer of psychological underpinning to societal "norms", religion, thought dissonance and resolution, politics and one's place in the world, and almost every aspect of "normal" being.  It could at times be called a clinical depression, except that I must be extraordinarily functional to be clinically depressed.  It could at times be called epiphany, although I tend to revisit my own thoughts in such a way that today's epiphany could be tomorrow's derision.  

In a way, this whole blog is about heresy.  It is about scientific heresy, religious heresy, societal heresy, and familial heresy.  It is about the emperor and his lack of clothes.  It is also about joy, for to challenge the known equation is to step into a realm of the unknown.  Exploration and the unknown carry a peculiar kind of joy; they carry the joys of freedom, liberation, clear sight, and unobstructed view.  I am just a human, but what does that ultimately mean?  I don't know if I will ever discover that, and I sometimes despair of ever finding it.  Yet, I am spurred on by my thought of one thing, how can we not know what is real?  It seems laughable, yet despite all our vaunted scientific knowledge, we really don't have a clue.  I am just being honest in my assessment of the facts.

The range of topics here will be as wide as the range of human experience, because I am exploring my own experience through what I understand to be currently.  Expect posts on everything from death to dating, from inner states to altered states, from inner awareness to outer awareness, from synchronicity to sleep.  I can't say where the journey will next take me, it simply moves forward.  I may abandon this blog at any time, and I reserve the right to do so, although my hope is that it will have something to say to those who, like myself, seek truth at the risk of life and limb.

Together... through some connection you feel with me and I with you, I hope to explore many of those things which may be verboten in polite society.