Fuck serious...

I am in a weird mood tonight... and some of this blog is making me laugh my ass off.  The last week has been a study for me in the lunacy of this game we play here, and I am finding it very, very hard to take all of this seriously anymore.  I must tell you that I am in awe of this game we play with each other... it is an awesome thing to hide who one truly is... almost impossible... yet... strangely, we have somehow managed it.

The Ability to Change Your Mind

One of the things that has been the greatest blessing along this journey has been the startling revelation that I can change my mind... in everything... about everything... no matter the circumstance, place, situation, or person confronting me at that moment.

There is only one choice. Period.

Live authentically or do not live authentically.  This one choice.  By living authentically, I mean learning Truth.  By learning Truth, which cannot be learned, I mean un-learning un-Truth.  It does not matter how.  You will discover how on your own once you have made the choice.  Live Truth or die an un-Truth.  Those are your two options.  No other choice in life or death exists.  Along one path lies Truth and Life.  Along the other path lies illusion, addiction to your own pain, and death, although what it is that animates you never dies.

The Systematic Destruction of Worth

There is something to be understood here... something I am understanding at deeper and deeper levels of understanding.  Worth, value, that which makes us what we are are the things that disappear, one by one, step by step along the Path.  The goal is always one step further from where we are, or where we think we are.  All distraction is simply a patch-fix pointed or riveted on this one thing, that we want worth, value, something to hold onto in our lives.  We want it to MEAN something, anything.

The Keys to the Kingdom

Amazingly, the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't unlock the door to Heaven, they unlock the doors to all that you thought you were that you are not.  It's about wrong belief.  It's about a wrong direction that one could never head in the first place.  It is always about unbecoming what you are not, because your reality cannot change.  Reality is the one thing that can never change.  It doesn't need our help to augment it, make it better, make it more magical or wonderful.

It Never Needed to Be the Way It Was

I don't know why some things change.  Maybe it was the bright days that I spent this weekend with my brother, or maybe it was the day in the park - throwing a frisbee, talking, laughing, or maybe it was letting go, finally, of the "struggle" that I thought life should be.  Whatever it was, however I got here, all I know is that something happened.  It seems like something relaxed in me; a tension, a tension that had been building for years and years, a tension that meant everything to me that I found was nothing, suddenly left.  I don't know how to describe it, but I finally put down my sword.  I didn't need it after all.